"What the hell happened to you?" asked the saleswoman.
"Um, I was born like this," came my pitiful reply.
Stupid questions.
Have you ever been told there are no stupid questions?
Well that is not true. There are stupid questions - and you hear many of them if you have a physical disability.
Now I don't mind questions.
I love questions, especially if they pertain to having a disability. I am quite experienced in this area. Not only a lived experience, but part of my day-to-day job is educating others about people with disabilities.
But I get pissed off when a random stranger asks me how I go to the bathroom. Or when the well-meaning business person asks if I collect social security checks. A personal favorite is when a guy I just met asks if I can have sex. Yes folks, these are only a taste of the stupid questions.
However, the most asked question is why I use the wheelchair. I don't mind answering this question because it's one that I wonder about others with disabilities as well. But it's the way you ask the question that can convince me to throw it in the stupid question category.
Blurting out in a crowd full of strangers - "What the hell happened to you?" - is a stupid question.
Asking during a cup of coffee while talking one-on-one - "So how long have you used a wheelchair?" - is an awesome question.
My personal favorite - "How long have you and your wheelchair been acquainted?" - epic question.
Some questions are just too personal, especially if I barely know you. However, get to know me and you'll find out, and probably without even asking, those questions swirling in your mind. But let's be honest ... would you ask each question that popped into your head? I know I wouldn't!
A word of advice that I give the youth I teach. I'm very open to questions about my disability and will answer any you have. But if you ask me a question be prepared for me to ask you the same question.
Poof - stupid questions gone!
- Lucia -
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