The wounds of physical violence are visible to everyone. The wounds of verbal violence are often kept inside, yet are still present. One doesn’t need to carry an actual gun to cause pain and torment to others. The mouth can be the gun, while the words spewed from it can be the bullets, aiming directly at undeserving people.
One particular customer always came into my place of employment on Wednesdays, between 10:30 and 11:30, after she went to the Holland Farmer’s Market. I knew this because I asked open ended questions, which weren’t returned; I remain unfazed. Small talk ensued, but she eventually reverted to talking about the Bible and the second coming of God. Although I wasn’t particularly interested, I listened. I learned many aspects about this woman’s life. This continued until a certain Wednesday, when her bullets took direct aim at my core.
This customer mentioned all gays will be sent to Hell and burned at the stake for living a lifestyle of sin. Gays didn’t need to worry because Satan was saving them a seat. She continued about how horrible Obama is and how she couldn’t believe he supports gay marriage. She couldn’t believe Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. The weather was the fault of the gays. If something was wrong, it was the fault of the gays.
I waited, impatiently, for my opening.
As calmly as I could, “Am I hurting you in anyway? Am I making you live your life differently?” She didn’t know I was gay, and was too blind to the fact I just told her I was: a portrait of ignorance. She ignored my question, continuing with her biblical passages; I left before lashing out. In her eyes, it’s okay for her to be divorced three times and not be a legal citizen in the USA, yet still reap benefits. I withheld my judgment of her, yet it’s acceptable to bash my life because she doesn’t agree with it?
For my own good, I ignored her. That is, up until a few weeks ago. She came to me and said, “You can’t work here because you’re spreading the “gay virus””. Moreover, she was telling other customers to avoid me (I have large ears). Rather than take the verbal abuse, I told her “If you hate me so much, why do you keep coming back, knowing I’m here?” She responded with some biblical passage, but I was having none of it, and responded with, “Where does your God say hate is okay?” She walked away and I haven’t dealt with her since.
Can I rid the world of ignorance and hate this particular customer possessed? Absolutely not. But, I do understand the difference between fighting out of hate and lies and fighting with love and truth. I understand words can be weapons, or they can heal. I understand remaining silent on certain issues is not an option.
- Brandon -