I do savor those too few spring mornings when there are no after school activities, no physical therapy, mornings when he rides his bike to school (they told us he’d never ride a bike). Those mornings when I can sneak a few extra moments to read the news, straighten up, or just take my time getting ready for work. The spatter of rain drops on the back porch tells me this is not one of those mornings. Guess I’m going have to drive you today, I mumble.
You’re wearing THOSE shoes? I say, almost grinning as I notice he’s put on the Nike slides we bought for after sports. (the sports he wasn't supposed to play) He seldom wore them before the surgery to correct the contracture because his heel didn’t touch the ground and they kept falling off, tripping him. “Yeah” he grunts in typical teenage fashion, “They’re my lazy shoes”.
He’s unusually chatty today which is especially strange because he normally sleeps the entire mile from home to the high school. I take advantage of it. Soooo….I say, as we pull out of the garage, have you been preparing for the AP exam in class? Yep, all month, he says.
I can’t hide my excitement, I'm almost giddy; after all he’s only a freshman and used to be a special education student due to physical impairments. In second grade he had some issues in school we had evaluated because we were concerned there were cognitive impairments too. Tests revealed a high level of intelligence was the real issue. He needed more challenging work. Not a bad problem to have after all.
When he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy “CP” as we call it, at 19 months, it was like someone punched us in the stomach. It made us sick, dizzy. What did it mean? What will he become? Will he live independently? They told us they didn’t know what it would mean, what he would be capable of. But it seemed they set us up for some very low expectations, why assume the worst? The truth is, no parent can ever know what their child will become. Parents of children with or without disabilities are all in the same boat here. The best thing you can do for your child is to let them raise to the level of their own capabilities, no matter what they are. Don't burden them with your own doubts or insecurities, or the labels others may put on them. I am not saying it’s easy, especially for parents of children with special needs. You have to learn a whole new language and culture. But that’s our job as parents, to do whatever it takes to help our kids succeed, to be their champion. We spent countless hours driving back and forth to a city 30 miles away for clinic visits, doctor’s visits, PT, OT, Botox shots, eye doctors, leg braces, what the heck is an I.E.P.?, blah, blah, blah.
We drive on and continue chatting about visiting colleges this summer and next fall, Chicago, East Coast schools, IVY LEAGUE, DARE I SAY IT? I’m surprised to learn he really doesn’t want to go to State. “I only like their football team, he says”.
As we pull up quite short of the front door, he jumps out and says, “I’ll get out here Mom”.
I linger, watching him walk almost all the way in, one leg just a little skinnier than the other, limping slightly but with confidence, and I am so proud to be his Mom.